whose team?

so I hate to write about "twilight" series just because half the junk on the internet right now is about that particular set of books, movies, characters. I am working my way through the books for the second time. The first time is a total blur as I was sucked through the story so quickly. I find myself just as intensely drawn to Stephenie Myer's stories as before, still up reading at 1am. I am on "New Moon" right now and I can't help but think of the ridiculous debate that is raging in the school rooms of the world right now: which team are you on? Well, I see the arguments for both. Jacob is a breath of fresh air after Edward acted like a total jerk. He is light, openly loving, warm (literally) and less likely to kill Bella. Edward's appeal is much stronger in the first, third and forth books, than in the second. He is amazingly attractive, brave, and makes Bella's heart flutter to the point of stopping it. So I am totally on the fence.

The whole debate is less important to me than most others things in my life. It really makes no difference which side you are on, as in the end, they are still just stories. Fictional characters in the finite pages of the books. It does bring about an interesting debate in my mind though. Most Twilight fans are adamantly on one side or the other. They have made their choice and are vocal about it. Oh, if it were only so with the more important things in our lives. If people could stop being so complacent, avoiding the choices they are required to make. I think specifically about their reaction to Christ's sacrifice for them. Many people think that as long as they abstain from the choice, they can avoid stepping on someone's toes. But, in this case, not choosing is a choice. Either you are on Team Jesus, or you are, by default, on the losing team. You can't participate in the prize (in this case, eternal life is way sweeter than simply living forever in this world) if you are on the losing team!

So today's question, whose team are you on?

Feeling Sexy

So this morning, I am wandering around in a new pair of underwear. They are black, boy cuts with frills across the back. Just like the frilly-bummed diaper covers we used to wear as kids. But instead of making me feel silly and childish, I feel hot and empowered. I am wearing with them only a plain black t-shirt. The combination makes me feel like some co-ed in a movie, prompting me to dance around to lousy music, head-banging (I so totally haven't done that...yet). It always amazes me how seemingly simple things like a new pair of draw'rs can dictate my emotions. I totally woke up on the right side of the bed this morning.
I think I will call these my "good morning unders".

I am missing Scott today.

I have become obsessed with the blog "le love"...she posts pics of couples and love and sometimes quotes... the photos are beautiful and touching. Sometimes, however, they connect with a memory. not a specific moment or anything vivid... just ... an emotion. a realization that I've been there before...back in more innocent times, when relationships are new.

Other times, I can connect with the emotions I feel now...a more mature love. A longing to be with him, while understand why he's not here.

I've decided to post a few of my favorites. Maybe I'll comment on them. Maybe I won't. I haven't decided that yet.
I love that this couple is wrapped up in each other, solitary on the beach. It reminds me of the Garth Brooks song "wrapped up in you"...

How I feel sometimes when Scott leaves. I don't want to say goodbye. I start the anxiety a day or two before crew change. I start preparing myself for his departure. Most people think I handle it well, and I guess that's the coping mechanism, but it's definitely hard, no matter how many times he goes. I can't say too much, though, because he's the one leaving his home, wife, dog, to go live on a ship for a month, "alone", with a bunch of "strangers.


I still haven't figured out why I love this photo so much. I am drawn to it. I think it's the honesty in their faces. She is simply content to be in his arms. Hiding nothing. He is happy holding her. There is a storm outside, but it doesn't make any difference to them. It's not gooey, sappy love or anything. It's real. Rain and all.

Monday, Oct. 22, 2007

Passage Read: Philippians 1 and 2
http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Philippians%201-2;&version=51

Stand outs: "Don't worry about anything. Instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need and thank Him for all He has done. If you do this you will experience God's peace which is far more wonderful than the mind can understand. This peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus" Phil. 2:5-11

So I totally got slapped on the wrists by God just now. He told me a while ago that I was not to be selfish about this move. I needed to go with the mindset that should be looking for who I can help- who I read- how I can further God's kingdom. Instead I've been wallowing in self pity because no one has come knocking on my door to become my new best friend. Wow!
Even at church on Sunday I was so wrapped up in "rating" the church and how it fit me "needs" that I failed to see what I can do to add to their ministries. I was wrapped up in my security blanket, afraid to be uncomfortable, that I only spoke to 3 people and only as responses.

Goal #1: Get Over Myself!
I need to get my mind changed from "what can they do for me?" to "what can I do for them?"

Goal #2: Straighten Out My Life.
My house needs to be ready for whatever God is gonna get me to do so
Unpack - Organize - Keep It Clean
I just know God's gonna use this great house He's given me for His glory

Goal #3: Work On The Skills God's Given Me.
Get out the guitar - get those books organized - be prepared

Goal #4: Stop Spending My Days "Putting In Time".
Get off the internet - Turn off the T.V. - Be more productive

Give My life Purpose!!!